This August saw the first ever Dining with Death events held at the Edinburgh Fringe, giving people the opportunity to chat to interested strangers in a light-hearted manner about death, dying and bereavement.
Around 40 people attended the two events, where diners worked their way through the Dining with Death Conversation Menu. People tackled topics such as 'Is there really a taboo about death, dining and bereavement in Scotland?'; 'What things do you think make for a 'good death'?' and 'How would you like to be remembered?'.
The conversation menu was accompanied by a three-course meal of traditional Sikh funeral food provided by Punjabi Junction, a community café set up to empower Sikh and other ethnic minority women and their families. The events were co-facilitated by Good Life, Good Death, Good Grief and the 100% Project, a community engagement project which aims to start conversations about death, dying and bereavement in a life-affirming way.
The popularity of the events challenges the notion that people in Scotland are reluctant to talk about death. In the words of some participants:
"Wonderful! Great tea, great food - I loved it!"
"I realised how much I love life, what I love about it and what I need to do to make it more vivid for now."
"Amazing! Please keep going!"
The two events - billed as Tea, Cake or Death? Death Cafe - were part of the Just Festival, which aims to provide a platform for people to explore their own spirituality by engaging with other people's to promote peace.
Talking about death over food is a growing trend. In Europe and the US, there is a thriving Death Café movement, where people "come together in a relaxed and safe setting to discuss death, drink tea and eat delicious cake". In the USA, the recently established Death over Dinner project hopes to create communal dialogues around death, healthcare and human life.
The Dining with Death conversation menu was used for the first time at the launch of Good Life, Good Death, Good Grief in November 2011. Sixty people with various interests and backgrounds were invited to Howie's Restaurant in Edinburgh to experience first hand the positive effects of talking about death with strangers. Since then the menu has also been used at education events for NHS professionals, and to facilitate family discussions about end of life wishes.
Rebecca Patterson, Policy & Communications Manager at Good Life, Good
Death, Good Grief said:
"At Good Life, Good Death, Good Grief we believe that problems are caused in Scotland because people are unprepared for the experiences of death, dying and bereavement and don't know how to support each other through these difficult times.
"Talking about and being open about these issues can help. The Dining with Death menu was designed to act as an inspiration and an ice-breaker - to give people
permission, and help people get started on what is often perceived as a taboo subject.
"The atmosphere at Tea, Cake or Death? was friendly, warm and welcoming - people were enjoying themselves. Everyone has their own story to share - their own thoughts, feelings, concerns and experiences. Perhaps what we lack in Scotland isn't the willingness, but the right opportunities to talk about death."
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