Reflections on dealing with grief and bereavement
Reflections on dealing with grief and bereavement
Zara Mohammed, Secretary General, The Muslim Council of Britain, @ZaraM01
It’s hard to
forget those we lose and even harder to deal with that grief.
I recall during
the pandemic, a close friend of mine had to deal with the unexpected loss of
her father and whilst trying to process that grief, as a young person, she had
to deal with the burial quickly; the coroner, the mosque and all the other
logistics that come with a loved one passing. She told me that she only wanted
a hug and someone to help us through it.
Stories like this one are not exceptional; throughout my travels across the UK to visit Muslim communities I learned more about the challenges they faced with bereavement. Households that had lost generations of family had difficulty understanding what support was available to them because English was not their first language. The strain on family carers and the lack of trust and fear of going to the hospital not knowing what would happen. Never mind, coping with their grief with already strained services.
I also reflect on the amazing stories of faith communities rising to the challenge, providing that crucial pastoral care, a source of connection and comfort when there was no one else to talk to. I know how Muslim communities created bereavement services to fill the void of existing services and how mosques despite being closed to the public during the pandemic continued to provide essential help to those in need.
For Muslims, when a person passes, certain spiritual rites must be fulfilled, from burying the deceased immediately, carrying out the funeral prayer and passing condolences to the family. During the pandemic, we saw a disproportionate impact on ethnic communities, mainly Muslim communities. The first deaths of the pandemic were Muslim doctors and nurses on the front line. As we went on, we learned that due to factors like poor housing, latent health inequalities and lack of access to services, the death rate was higher for ethnic minorities.
This made the UK Commission on Bereavement work so important and why I became a commissioner for the report. The report looked broader than just the experiences of COVID19 but at the more comprehensive experience of grief, what was already in place and what needed to change. One of the report's key recommendations is to have a ‘national strategy’.
Looking at Scotland in particular, this national strategy would include a coordinated approach to delivering support services and a focus on improving access to services for those most vulnerable or at risk of isolation following a bereavement. The importance of a national strategy cannot be overstated, as it would provide a clear framework for providing bereavement support services and ensure that resources are directed where they are most needed.
Another important recommendation of the Commission is to improve the training and education of healthcare professionals in Scotland in relation to bereavement support. This is a vital area for improvement, as healthcare professionals are often the first point of contact for individuals and families who have experienced bereavement. By improving their knowledge and skills in this area, healthcare professionals can provide more effective support to grieving people, helping to reduce the risk of complications such as depression or anxiety.
The Commission's recommendations also highlight the importance of providing bereavement support services that are tailored to the needs of specific communities and cultural groups. This is a crucial area for improvement, as bereavement is experienced very differently across diverse communities. By providing culturally sensitive and appropriate support, individuals and families will receive the help they need to cope with their loss in a way that is respectful and meaningful to them.
It is so important that we get how we do bereavement right. We know so many people are dealing with delayed grief and processing the loss of loved ones. We also know just how comforting it can be when we can carry out the wishes of a loved one in the final parting of this world. That is why the work of the UK Bereavement Commission is vital to providing this framework, to take everyone through a journey in which all communities can access the support they need. I hope this roadmap can now be adopted by decision makers and really endorsed by service providers and broader communities. I hope that we can be proud of how we do grief, offering comfort and creating that society of compassion that we need most.
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