At Home with Illness
At Home with Illness is a film project in which three families, whose lives were changed forever when life-limiting illness arrived, share their powerful, emotional stories.
Their stories, of how they reacted and how things are turning out, are highly individual but many of the challenges they encounter are faced by others in similar situations.
The three films, each telling the story of one family, were shot in 2012-13.
In this introductory clip you can meet the three families, the nine people.
Watch the films
The Long Goodbye
A journey into the intimate heart of a family when a life-limiting illness comes to stay. Meet four remarkable people - Fiona, Gordon, Lucy and Emily - one of whom is unwell, all of whom are living with illness.
Jack and Dorothy’s Story
An elderly couple try to come to terms with a devastating but little understood neurodegenerative illness - at home.
When Things Fall Apart
How Multiple Sclerosis led to the breakup of Andrew's marriage to Catherine, his primary carer. And how they created a different future.
Common themes
Some common themes emerge from the stories.
Theme 1: Beginnings
Welcome to the Cook Household
Diagnosis
Being told you have a life-limiting neuro-degenerative illness can be traumatic. It's tempting to tell yourself everything's OK, even when it clearly is not. Meet Jack and Dorothy.
The Early Years
When Andrew was diagnosed with MS 12 years ago his wife Cath committed herself to the primary carer role. Life was fine for a few years. But then the condition got worse.
Theme 2: Crises
The Collapse
How do you keep your cool when a parent collapses and everyone around you is panicking?
Breaking Point
One day Cath realised she just couldn't go on. She told Andrew she was leaving him, for someone else. He was devastated at first. But then he began to see things differently. Perhaps some good could come out of this tough situation?
Theme 3: Each Day as it Comes
Who Cares for the Carer?
What of Jack? His inner life? His health? How will he cope as Dorothy's condition progresses?
Those Damned Emotions
Everyone says it's obviously a good thing to talk about your emotions, but what if you don't want to? And it's not only children who'd rather not get in touch with their feelings.
The Way We Were
Cooped up in a small flat with your spouse and a progressive life-limiting illness can be very stressful. Is it just the illness that makes you bicker? What became of the people we used to be? What happens to love under pressure?
Theme 4: Changing Roles
All Change
It's hard when illness prevents you from being the wife and mother you want to be. Or the husband and father. And what about the daughter? Is she allowed to rebel, just occasionally?
Jack of All Trades
It's hard enough becoming a primary carer, on little money, and keeping house when your wife can no longer do the things she once did. It's harder still – and dangerous – when she thinks she still can.
A Young Life
It doesn't seem fair to have your teenage years overshadowed by family illness. Who wants to act old before time? And how will your best friends respond?
Theme 5: Brave New Worlds
Hospice
Hospice is one of those words most of us don't want to hear. It suggests other words – like terminal, incurable and death. Yet for the Cook family the actual experience of a hospice was surprisingly different.
Yesterday’s Gone
Is it brave or plain selfish to leave your spouse in these circumstances? You risk incurring the wrath and disapproval of family and friends. You feel guilt and perhaps shame. And yet perhaps such choices require colossal strength and single-mindedness, and are exemplary? And what of the other man? How will he fit into the picture?
Watching Me Watching You
Seeing yourself on screen can be embarrassing. But getting personal on camera can make you feel better, and bring the family together.
The way in which an illness develops and effects each person is likely to be different for different people.
For more information about Mulitple Sclereosis (MS) visit here.
For more information about Progressive Supranuclear Palsy (PSP) visit here.
For more information about advanced illness visit here.
If you are a carer or looking after someone you can find more information here.
